Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Taking out the trash
I'm often asked, "What is the hardest part of having a Spinal Cord Injury?"
Is it the loss of mobility that comes with loosing function of your legs? Is it the pain after the surgery? Or is it the added difficulty associated with being in a wheelchair?
The answer: Watching my wife struggle while taking two trash cans out to the road.
For me, the most difficult part of this has been watching my wife do the tasks, that prior to the accident were mine to do. Taking out the trash, carrying in the heavy bags of salt, and other tasks around the house were my contribution to the household and added to my self worth. It's a damaging blow to my self esteem and my self worth to have to watch my wife complete these tasks now. To sit-by and watch while someone you love struggles, knowing that you physically can't help them.
It's not just the physical contributions, it's the financial contributions as well. I have always been the one who provided financially for my family. The fact is that, I haven't worked in over 5 months and have brought in no money. So, I can't physically help and I'm not contributing any money to the household. I'm really struggling with my self esteem and trying to come up with some way to contribute.