Simple Yet Powerful

While I was in the hospital, I had many different cards and pictures from friends and family taped on the walls. These cards ranged from store bought get well cards to construction paper homemade cards. Several of the homemade cards were from Alex's schoolmates. When I was scared or afraid, I would look on the walls and read some of the cards. One card that spoke to me during my most difficult times is posted below. It was made by one of the students at Grace Christian and truly helped me make it through those particularly tough times. A simple, yet powerful message.

Michigan Rehab Services

Michigan Rehab Services is a program to help Michigan residents with disabilities achieve employment and self sufficiency.

In order to meet my job requirements as listed by my employer, I am required to stand a small percentage of the time. My therapists at Mary Free Bed helped me trial a standing wheelchair and found one that worked perfectly. I was told that MRS would be a good place to check into and that they would likely pay for the chair so that I could return to work. I called MRS for information and found out that I had to first sit through a orientation before they can begin working with me.

My orientation was this morning at 10:00pm at the Michigan Works building in Paw Paw. I should have known from the start that something was amiss. 1) When I arrived 10 minutes prior to 10:00 and I was the only vehicle parked in a handicap parking spot. 2) When there were several 18-30 year olds who smelled like cheap weed milling around the entrance of the building. 3) When 4 of the 8 individuals attending the orientation were accompanied by their parents.

The orientation was a combination lecture and PowerPoint. The first topic was the types of disabilities that are eligible for MRS assistance. The speaker went over several obvious disabilities like being blind, hearing impaired, or being unable to walk. When the speaker mentioned that drug abuse was a disability... I almost fell out of my chair! Now I understood why the pot head meth group was here. When did having a drug problem become a disability?

I have absolutely no problem with tax money going to assist individuals who have true disabilities. However, I draw the line at tax money going to help individuals with a dependency on illegal substances and call it a disability. Maybe we should open up the disability program to tobacco users next. I'm sure there are individuals out there who are having trouble finding work or need to be re-trained now that smoking in public places has been outlawed.

A letter to the driver of the SUV

Driver of the SUV,

I don't know if you will ever actually read this or not...

First, I would like to first introduce myself: My name is Matthew Sexton and I am the motorcycle rider that you hit on May 10th of this year. I am a husband, a father of four, and a volunteer firefighter. My children are 2, 5, 18, and 21. I have been a volunteer firefighter for my local community for 20 years. I had a birthday while i was in the hospital and I turned 37 years old.

Since you have made no attempt to contact me or my family, I will give you a brief synopsis of the last 6 months of my life. As I'm sure you saw in the news, I was critically injured in the accident. Both of my lungs were collapsed, my pelvis was broken in two places, my lower leg was almost torn off of my body, both of my arms were broken, and my spine was broken in two places. I was in the hospital for 2 months, a nursing home for 2 months, and a rehab facility for a month. My spine was completely served in the accident and I am a T6 Paraplegic. My life has changed dramatically due to the accident.

I don't know where you were heading in such a hurry that morning on state road 23. Evidentially the trucks traveling at 55 miles per hour were not going fast enough for you and you needed to pass them. I myself, was heading to work in Walkerton. I have worked for Polygon as a medical product development engineer for almost 4 years now. I have been very fortunate that I work for such a great company that has supported me throughout this entire ordeal.

The minimal insurance that was on the truck you were driving, has covered less than 5% of the actual costs of the accident. My lawyer completed a background check and advised that you have nothing of value and that it would be futile to sue you for any damages. Luckily, I have wonderful friends and family that have put together several fund raisers that have helped offset the out of pocket medical costs and modifications to my home.

Since the accident, I have learned to enjoy every minute that I'm alive and not to hesitate telling every person in my life exactly how much they mean to me. I've learned to hug my children tighter and to kiss my wife every time I leave them.

The Bible tells me that I shall forgive you... Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins"

Through much thought and prayer I can finally say that I have forgiven you.


Thank You,

Matthew Sexton

Walking in the grass

Vivienne's preschool class went outside one day last week barefoot to feel the grass on their bare feet. She was so excited by this she told us about this during dinner.

Hearing this made me think about all of the little things that I took for granted before. The feel of the grass on my feet is one of those little things. I had become engrossed in the hustle and bustle daily life and forgot to enjoy the little things in life.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not alone in this... How many of us can honestly say that they appreciate daily the little things in life that we have been blessed with?

Taking out the trash

I'm often asked, "What is the hardest part of having a Spinal Cord Injury?"

Is it the loss of mobility that comes with loosing function of your legs? Is it the pain after the surgery? Or is it the added difficulty associated with being in a wheelchair?

The answer: Watching my wife struggle while taking two trash cans out to the road.

For me, the most difficult part of this has been watching my wife do the tasks, that prior to the accident were mine to do. Taking out the trash, carrying in the heavy bags of salt, and other tasks around the house were my contribution to the household and added to my self worth. It's a damaging blow to my self esteem and my self worth to have to watch my wife complete these tasks now. To sit-by and watch while someone you love struggles, knowing that you physically can't help them.

It's not just the physical contributions, it's the financial contributions as well. I have always been the one who provided financially for my family. The fact is that, I haven't worked in over 5 months and have brought in no money. So, I can't physically help and I'm not contributing any money to the household. I'm really struggling with my self esteem and trying to come up with some way to contribute.

Wheelchair

My old beat-up loaner chair from Mary Free Bed got a flat on Wednesday morning. I found this as I attempted to transfer from the bed into the wheelchair and the brake failed to hold. (The brake is a friction lock that sits against the inflated tire, so a deflated tire doesn't sit as high and therefore the brake provides zero friction) Luckily I was at Mary Free Bed, so I wheeled the broken chair to therapy hoping they could fix it for me. But, instead of fixing the loaner chair, they sent me home in a Breezy.

What is a Breezy you ask?

Breezy's are big, heavy, un-maneuverable beasts that take two living rooms to turn around in. A Breezy is the tandem trailer semi-truck of the wheelchair world. Hospitals use Breezy's as complimentary, visitor wheelchairs because they know that no one would ever even think of stealing one.

Luckily for me, UPS showed online that the Quickie Q7 demo wheelchair that I bought from New Jersey had been delivered. When I returned home in my Breezy, I quickly assembled my demo chair and transferred into it. I was just beginning to adjust to the chair when we realized that it had a flat. Another flat? To make matters worse, the valve stem is not a normal automotive/bike stem, it's a European thin valve designed for racing. Unfortunately my air compressor doesn't have that type of fitting.

Thursday morning, I called around and found that Cycle and Fitness in St. Joseph had the required adapter and could fill up my tire. The staff at Cycle and Fitness checked my tire and tube and filled both tires to the correct pressure. Cycle and Fitness keeps both tubes and tires in stock for all sizes of wheelchairs and they can repair or modify just about any part on the chair itself. I was definitely impressed by Cycle and Fitness. www.cycleandfitness.net